A Fanpire Expose

If we've learned anything over the past several months, its that Edward's penis sparkles. But that is not what this post is about (not yet, anyway). Its about Fanpire Specimen # 3 AM. That is what I call her, because I have seen her walk by my bakery several times, always in the wee-est hours of the morning. She is always wearing the Twilight hoodie, and khaki pants. She always wears headphones. She looks like she just walked out of my high school band class.

Who is she? Does she have children? Does she steal their Twilight hoodies to cloak herself in nightly quest for exercise, or perhaps a sandwich (QFC is also next to me... also 24 hrs)??? Or is 3 a.m. the only time she is brave enough to wear it? The only time she can show her true self?

This morning, I saw her again, and this time noticed the message on the back of her hoodie

"I don't want to be a monster."

It inspired me to draw a picture, to help you help me understand.

Hmmm. Maybe you had to be there...

To be fair, I drew a picture of myself

In case you were wondering, the image on my apron is a drawing of a wolf superimposed on Edward's FACE. The shading took me four hours!

GOOD MORNING SEATTLE!

Is it bad that I am growing attached to the "Team Deer" Title and picture?