Movie Review: Little Asses

We hope you enjoy Team Deer's unique take on this RPatz film, Little Assets, er, Ashes.


Rob's Hair

Opening scene: Almost the first thing we see is his hair, but in the first shot it's actually a wig. His hand brushes it behind his ear. Soon after, a closeup of his eye (green, not golden) and eyebrow.

The girl in the movie (yes there is one. just one.) has the same hairdo.

In other news: very little chest hair. No weird left nipple. That must be something that happened to him later.

Rob's Quotes

Other characters' quotes:
"What does Frederico Lorca Garcia feel about all these bloody butterflies? What makes him angry? What turns him on?" Cut to a shot of RPatz, Salvador Dali. Duh.

When Salvador finally wears normal clothes and slicks back his hair:
Luis: "Incredible"
Frederico: "Sensational."
Luis: "The girls will go crazy."
Salvador (RPatz): "I expect so."

After taking a long, longing look at Salvador, Frederico prays: "Holy mother forgive me, I have sinned. I have had impure thoughts. Help me to resist temptation." Oh, Frederico. Join the club.

Why Rob Chose to Be in This Movie

Drinking. Smoking. General weirdness.

Twilight Crossover/Tie-In

Salvador creepily watches Frederico playing piano, like Edward watches Bella. Creepily watches him through the window. Creepily follows him down the street, trying to hide.

Salvador is a tease, just like Edward.

Frederico reading his poetry to Salvador on the rocks is very much akin to Twilight meadow scenes.

Overall Impressions

Salvador in jammies. Lots of Spanish men in shirtsleeves. Little RPatz almost makes an appearance, but it's awkward and not sexy.

However, Robert Pattison kissing anyone = hot.

Recommendation
A summary in Team Deer text messages:

J: Watching Little Asses again.
E: Eeep!
J: Worse than eeep. Also my phone wants me to type deer when i try to type eeep.
E: Is it really bad?
J: Duh.
E: Yeah. I guess I was there. I just prefer not to remember.