Twilight Re-writes: Six Word Short Stories

Jean:
Twilight: Edward couldn't control himself. Bella dies.
New Moon: In Italy, Edward disrobes. Jacob watches.
Eclipse: Edward fancies Jacob's scent. They kiss.
Breaking Dawn: Feathery honeymoons create vampire-wolf babies.
Summary: Don't need six words. Edward sparkles.


AJ:
Tainted Love at first troubling whiff.
Liquid diet adds sparkle and luster.
Team Cullen engages in America’s pastime.
You/your mix tapes don’t suck.

German Daniel:
Edward penis. Bella penetration. Blood love.

Sydney:
Twilight: June 2, 2003: Stephanie develops insomnia!
New Moon: Edward leaves Bella to the wolves.
Eclipse: They pitch a tent for Bella.
Breaking Dawn: Wedding night surprise: Edward really sucks.




















Emilie:
Twilight: Bella can't stand Forks. Enter Edward.
New Moon: Flip to page 451.
Eclipse: Jacob who? Let's make out now.
Breaking Dawn: Taking the fun out of vampire.
Entire Series: Drugs, Sex, replaced by Khaki, Blood.

OK fans (who have not already contributed to this post.) What are your six word rewrites?