Happy New Year from Team Deer!

Do you know who you're kissing at midnight?

I Know What You Are

Say it.

Out loud.

Say it.


"Santa Claus."

He’s impossibly fast and strong so he can haul lots of loot all over the world in one short night. He never eats or drinks anything, which is why the cookies I left out get eaten by my Dad. He speaks like he’s from a different time, because duh, Santa Claus has been around for centuries. His skin is ice cold, from living in the North Pole.

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake.

He knows if you've been bad or good, because of Alice for goodness sake!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM TEAM DEER!

Edvent Calendar - Meeeerry Christmas!

hmm... feathers...







So, who stuffed your stocking?


Merry Christmas!

Edvent Calendar - Day 23

I'm getting nuttin for christmas!


I snuck into Bella's bed,
Somebody snitched on me.
I snooped around in Jacob's head,
Somebody snitched on me.
I kidnapped Bella once or twice
Bit her neck, thought it was nice,
Got into a couple fights,
Somebody snitched on me.

Edvent Calendar - Day 22

What if you found out that Edward, like Santa, was a fake? What if it was as if he never existed?

Edvent Calendar - Day 21

Just a few last minute gift ideas
In case you are shopping for teenage girls ages 14 - 108

Edvent Calendar - Day 20

Eclipse: when a celestial object is temporarily obscured, either by passing into the shadow of another body or by having another body pass between it and the viewer.

Will you be waking up in the wee hours of the morning to see an Eclipse?

Edvent Calendar - Day 19

The Cullens, on a Last Minute Christmas Hunt


(It had to be done)

Edvent Calendar - Day 18

Sometimes when I play Christmas Carols on my piano I fall over.

Edvent Calendar - Day 17

A Swoon in Holiday Finery

Edvent Calendar - Day 16

Holiday decorating tip:
Instead of stockings, adorn your mantle with beautiful
vampires and werewolves.
It's so much more festive.

Edevent Calendar - Day 15

Don't Forget to Take your Vitamins

Edvent Calendar - Day 14

Everyone put on your Christmas jammies and hunker down for a long winter!

Edvent Calendar - Day 13

So he gets to give her a present does he? Ho ho ho merry christmas, huh?
Knock this tree right on to his face. I'll show them, I'll show 'em all. She'll
have the best christmas tree ever, I'm gonna get her the best tree in the
forest I tell you what.

Edvent Calendar - Day 12

Said the Werewolf to the little lamb

Do you know what I know?

Edvent Calendar - Day 11

If you don't sleep (not at all), does that mean Santa skips your house? Poor Edward!

Edvent Calendar - Day 10

Christmas is magical. In case you forgot.

Edvent Calendar - Day Nine

Who would you rather catch beneath the mistletoe?

Edvent Calendar - Day Eight

Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the tent is so delightful...

Edvent Calendar - Day Seven

I've decided to be stingy this year, in the hopes that the Ghost of Edward's Past will visit me and teach me a lesson.

Edvent Calendar - Day Six

Who needs tinsel when Edward's in your tree?

I wish Edward was in my tree, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Edvent Calendar - Day Five

Aw c'mon guys, its christmas! Just hug it out.

Happy Eclipse DVD Release Day!

At Target this afternoon the the check-out conveyor belt was strewn with glitter even before I put down my copy of the DVD...

Edvent Calendar - Day Four

If this is flu season, I don't want to be well!

Edvent Calendar - Day Three

What We Do Know: Christmas Edition

It came upon a midnight clear

It came upon a midnight clear

Edvent Calendar - Day Two

Edward in his peacoat, having Christmas dinner.

Edvent Day Calendar Kick-off

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree...

West Coast Story: Part 2

Some might say that taking a story or song and changing the words around to fit with another story is unoriginal and downright lazy...

But if Twilight has taught us anything, you don't need to be original to be interesting. You just need to be Edward.

Crap! This post is supposed to be about werewolves!

shuffle shuffle

Fixed!

Without further talk of Edward's penis, I give you the Werewolf rebuttal

"When you're a Were(wolf)"

When you're a Were you're a Were all the way

from your first tuft of hair to your last dying bay

When your a Were if the spit hits the fan

You've got brothers around

You're a family man

You're never alone

You're never disconnected

You're home with your own

When company's expected

You're well protected

Then you are set with a capital W

Which you'll never forget, don't let it trouble you!

When you're a Were you stay a Were!

(speaking)

Now I know Embry like I know me,

And I gaurantee you can count him in.

Quil:

In, out, let's get crackin'!

Where you gonna find The Vampires?

Jacob:

At the dance tonight at the gym

Sam:

But the gym's neutral territory

Jacob:

I'm gonna make nice with him, I'm only gonna challenge him

Leah:

Great, Daddy-O

Quil

So everybody dress up sweet and sharp and

meet Jake and me at ten.

And walk tall!

Seth:

We always walk tall!

Sam:

We're Weres!

Leah:

The greatest!

Quil:

When you're a Were you're the top dog in town

Jacob:

You're the scruffiest kid with the scariest grin

Sam:

When you're a were you're the swingin-est thing

Little boy, you're a wolf, Little wolf you're a king!

ALL:

The were's are in gear

Our insicors are clickin'

The vamps'll steer clear

'Cause every leech is

A lousy chicken!

Here come the were's like a hound strait from hell

Someone gets in our way, someone don't live to tell!

Here come the Weres!

Little world, step aside!

Better go underground!

Better run, Better hide!

We're drawing the line,

So keep your brood a hidden

We're hangin' a sign

Says visitors forbidden

And we ain't kiddin'

Here come the Weres!

Yeah!

And we're gonna beat every last bitin' Vamp on the

whole bitin' street.

on the whole ever mother lovin' street!

Yeah!

West Coast Story: The Vamps VS The Weres Part 1

For those of you who have never seen West Side Story: you are very, very lucky. But as one who sat through it many a time as a child, I couldn't help but notice the similarities. Two warring gangs, a forbidden love, catchy tunes... its all there! So, get your fingers snapping and sing along, vamps!

When You're A Vamp

Words Blatantly Stolen and Rearranged from West Side Story's "When you're a Jet"

When you're a vamp you're a vamp all the way

from your first taste of blood to you're last violent fray

When your a vamp if venom hits the fan

You've got Cullens around

You're a family man

You're never alone

You're never disconnected

You're home with your own

When company's expected

You're well protected

Then you are set with a capital C

Which you'll never forget

When you're a Vamp you stay a vamp!

They are snapping their fingers in time... .you just cant see it because they are so FAST!

(speaking)
Now I know Jasper like I know me,
And I gaurantee you can count him in.

Emmett:
In, out, let's get crackin'!
Where you gonna find The Werewolves?

Edward:
At the dance tonight at the gym

Alice:
But the gym's neutral territory

Edward:
I'm gonna make nice with him, I'm only gonna challenge him

Alice:
Great, Daddy-O

Emmett
So everybody dress up sweet and sharp and
meet Edward and me at ten.
And walk tall!

Rosalie:
We always walk tall!

Alice:
We're Vamps!

Carlisle:
The greatest!

Jasper:
When you're a Vamp you're the top cat in town

Emmett:
You're the Gold medal kid with the heavyweight crown

Carlisle:
When you're a Vamp you're the swingin-est thing
Little boy, you're a Vamp, Little Vamp you're a king!

ALL:
The vamps are in gear
Our teeth are clickin'
The weres'll steer clear
'Cause every canine is
A lousy chicken!
Here come the Vamps like a bat outta hell
Someone gets in our way, someone don't live to tell!
Here come the Vamps!
Little world, step aside!
Better go underground!
Better run, Better hide!
We're drawing the line,
So keep your necks a hidden
We're hangin' a sign
Says visitors forbidden
And we ain't kiddin'
Here come the Vamps!
Yeah!
And we're gonna beat every last buggin' gang on the
whole buggin' street.
on the whole ever mother lovin' street!
Yeah!

Stay Tuned for the Werewolve's howling rebuttal.

A Picture Speaks 1000 Words

I'm pretty sure Stephenie Meyer was looking at the wrong picture when she wrote Breaking Dawn.

Preclipe Party Premier. Pompadour. Pontification?

On June 29th, 2010, Team Deer convened for the world famous Team Deer Preclipse Prefunk Midnight Showing. Party.

The replicas were gathered, the candles lit...

Our Edwardian shrine needed only one addition

Yes, yes. Our party was singled out by Edward Cullen.

He assumed we were going to be watching New Moon first, and dressed accordingly

...but we explained to him that we couldn't bear it.

Instead, we spent the evening snacking and drinking. Edward politely refrained from both activities, but allowed us to manipulate his hard, smooth, sparkling... limbs, anyway we wished.
We sat him on a plastic horse.

But wait! There's more! The party, as you well may guess from the alliterative title of this post, was merely a precursor to waiting in line for the midnight showing of Eclipse! Edward joined us for that as well, and threatened all those who mocked us with his sparkle butt.

There was some confusion at the door as to whether Edward was expected to have a ticket to his very own movie premiere. But worrying was pointless! Edward sparkled magnificently as he wooed the ticket taker, and he and Sydney entered the theater on a hastily created two-for-one ticket deal (apparently if you come with an Edward and a ticket, you get in for free!)

We found our seats, settled in and prepared ourselves for the third installment of a most dazzling series. The End.





But wait! There's even more!
No really. You'll just have to wait.

They Do Entertainment....Big?

They even named a theatre after him!

Eclipse Soundtrack: Rolling in on a Burning Tire

Just because the lyrics mention a full moon and waiting a long time to die and stuff doesn't qualify it to be on the soundtrack. But Jack White's creepy and forceful riffs are pretty awesome. Ok, your song can be about Edward.

Eclipse Soundtrack: A Million Miles An Hour

This song title sounds like the answer to a naughty riddle about Edward.

But anyway....

This is a song about lost love, and makes more sense for New Moon, but I guess it could be about Jacob. The only reason it doesn't really seem like it's about Jacob is that it sort of sounds like it's being sung by an old miner (not an old minor like Edward, hahaha). Seems like it's more about Jasper. In cowboy boots, ma'am.

Eclipse Soundtrack: Chop and Change

"She found no love in this town"?

FALSE.

Have they not been paying attention? She fell in love with two hot boys in that darn town. Two hot boys who fell in love with her too (and probably with each other)!

Two.

One, two.

One plus one is two.

PS What is chop and change? Chop and change is an idiom meaning to keep changing what you do or what you plan to do, often in a way that is confusing and annoying for other people. Also false. Bella is annoying, but she is quite constant in her motivations.

Eclipse Soundtrack: With You in My Heart

Ooo, this one might be about the newborns!

no giving into taking more but still still feedin', you're clearly disturbed,
all you want is allegiance

It's pretty cool I guess.

Edward, contemplating newborns.

Eclipse Soundtrack: What Part of Forever

Oh, it's another little song about Jacob, wanting to run away with Bella, or just run away.

Why do they all sound so old-timey??? This one has whistling.

Eclipse Soundtrack: Life on Earth

Do you think they wrote a song that uses less than 10 words (including "la") on a dare?

Eclipse Soundtrack: Atlas

"It's all at bats now."



WTF? I have no idea what this song is about but it's quite catchy. Oooo ooo ooo!

Eclipse Soundtrack: My Love

Seems like this song is about sacrificing all kinds of stuff for love. Which Bella actually won't have to do. She gets stuff she didn't even know she wanted, and doesn't lose anything. But that's another story for another movie or two.

Eclipse Soundtrack: Heavy In Your Arms

You calling me fat?

Eclipse Soundtrack: How Can you Swallow...

...So Much Sleep.

Get your mind out of the gutter! The name of the song is How Can you Swallow So Much Sleep.

These lyrics are SO Edward. Can I wake you up indeed!


And yet, WTF does this mean: Could you bag me up?

Eclipse Soundtrack: Jacob's Theme

Oh! He gets his own theme! He deserves it.


This song is very pretty, like him. I can totally see Edward and Bella making out to this...I mean...um...yeah.

Eclipse Soundtrack: The Line

This song is like the battle song of the Cullens. I can totally see Rosalie on bongos and Emmett plinking away on the bass.

Curious light projects these apparitions
In a slow dance
It beats like heart beats
Do they want to stay connected
To the solemn man

You know. Before they muster the werewolves and run off to meet the newborn army.

Eclipse Soundtrack: Eclipse (All Yours)

I can't stop now, indeed!