Oh, For the Love of All that's Holy!

We’re just lucky it was the pillows and not you ~ Edward Cullen

Is this something we know?

It goes for the feathers.

Breaking Dawn Eve

Who's breaking whatwherenow?

It's a Mirage!

WELCOME to Breaking Dawn Eve eve!

Have you decked your halls with Edward's "holly"?

Have you dusted off your fainting couch?

Are all your werewolves lined up in a row?

The viewing of Breaking Dawn is almost upon us, yet somehow it escapes me! I keep forgetting that it is time! The time/space distance between me and Friday night seems unfathomable! Its like Breaking Dawn is over there, and I am over here. But when we cross paths...

squeeeeeeee-eeeehehehehe

Pop Revelations: Jacob's Dilemma

We know all about Bella's duplicitous heart. But all that time we were feeling sorry for Jacob, he was out there playing both fields! This subject is not new to TDH, but new evidence is always, always welcome.

What if Jacob gets mad at the wedding because he wanted to dance with Edward, not Bella?
When he howls after the reception, what is he saying? Only Edward knows.
Is Jacob really protecting preggo Bella from his pack? Or is it out of love for another?

In honor of Breaking Dawn's Jacob Chapter, I bring you...

Hot Blooded by Foreigner

Well, I'm hot blooded,

check it and see
I got a fever of a 103
Come on baby,
do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded,
I'm hot blooded

You don't have to read my mind,
to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what you're doin' after the snow

Now it's up to you,
we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you,
I'll show you lovin' like you never knew

That's why, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, hot blooded

If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But you've got to give me a sign,
come on... some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot ... ?
you sure look that way to me

Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call your bluff?
Is my timing right? did you save your love (ew) for me tonight?

Yeah I'm hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded, I'm hot


Now it's up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who

Edward wonders why Jacob brought Bella to the secret Rendezvous!

Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

Hot blooded, every night
Hot blooded, you're looking so tight
Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild
Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child
Hot blooded, I'm a little bit high
Hot blooded, you're a little bit shy
Hot blooded, you're making me sing
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing

Jacob shares his thoughts with Edward. Bella checks out Carlisle (off camera)

Breaking Dawn Soundtrack: Team Deer Edition

The Breaking Dawn Soundtrack will be released on November 8th. I looked over the song list, and after much humming and hawing about not being able to listen to it yet, I created my own playlist loosely based off of the artists chosen for the soundtrack, and mostly based off of song title. Also, I added Muse (duh) and removed Bruno Mars. I bet mine is better.

you can find this at http://grooveshark.com/#/teamdeer

Popinjay - The Joy Formidable (popinjay reminded me of mockingjay... I got nothin.)
Fasten You to Me - The Belle Brigade (A classic wedding song if I ever heard one)
Invincible - Muse (This song is not about the bedframe.)
Sister Rosetta - The Noisettes (This song is actually on the soundtrack... I think it fits.)
Situation Gone Bad - The Features (Its just a few feathers...)
Next to Me - Sleeping at Last (Bella tries to show Edward the bright side of things)
Nothing to Dread - The Noisettes (This song is about the bedframe)
Stark White Stork Approaching - The Features (Wait, where do babies come from?)
Black and Blue - Christina Perri (Ouch!)
One Last Time - Thelophilus London (I don't know. Jacob's joyride montage?)
36 Hours - Aqualung (One Vampire, coming up!)
Seven Nation Army (cover) - Hard Fi (Bella's Vampire montage)
Butterflies and Hurricanes - Muse (A good segway song into the Volutri half of the story)

I just wanted to see a few feathers, that's all!

That's right boys and girls, feathers lead to babies.
vampire babies.

Speaking of things leading to other things, can we get a Footloose/Twilight mash-up going here?


Also, why aren't they remaking footloose with Robert Pattinson?
We already know he can pull off the wardrobe

And its exactly the type of awkward movie he would love!

I rest my case.

Pop Revelations: Part 11

Oh, the 90s. Your music suits Edward so well. Broody, melodramatic, bouffant, and looking oh so good in flannel.

Iris (As in golden irises?)
The Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
























And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to bite you tonight


And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
Not everything's made to be sparkley
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in my lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive








And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everyone's made to be bitten
I just want you to know who I am

You Know You're Team Deer IF: Birthday Edition

...you've ever received a birthday post with gratuitous pictures of Robert Pattinson



Edward: Carlisle, I said I wanted a car for my birthday. Whats this noise?
Carlisle: It is a car. A train car.
(...you reinterpret every Robert Pattinson role as Edward in various stages 0f vampirism.)



You wonder what it would be like to be an elephant...




...Or an alligator



You're a fan of the birthday suit.



Happy Birthday Jean!

What We Do Know: Part 58

Poor Jacob can never manage to get anywhere with Bella because Edward always interrupts.

"Always in the way!"

Oh, Edward.

It's always in the way.

Wanna Join The Team?

I've noticed that they'll let just about anyone on to Twilight teams these days. Seriously! Are there no standards? Are they really that desperate for members?

Well here at TDH, things are different. We have criteria! Our simple list of qualifiers will give our readers a sense of belonging (and perhaps creepiness) and bring a sparkle to your day!

You Know You are Team Deer If:

- You're attracted to glittery objects
- You've contemplated the mechanics of vampire genitalia
- You own something Twilight related.
- You've made something Twilight related (poems, songs, shirts, etc.)
- You start sentences "If I were a vampire..."
- You have ever wondered about Edward's penis
- You giggle when hearing any of the following words: sparkle, glitter, feathers
- You think this picture has too much bella
- You have theories about Edward's penis
- Whenever anyone says "Say it." You can't stop yourself from saying, "Out loud."
- You can name at least one thing you know about Edward's penis
- You've googled it
- You have a problem with the name Renesmee
- You take Vitamin R regularly


- You can transform any subject into a conversation about Twilight
- You have your own theories about
what happened in that tent



If you have your own Team Deerisms, feel free to add below.

Eclipse Trio: Partial Eclipse of the Sparkle

Partial Eclipse of the Sparkle

Jacob: (Turnaround)
Bella: Every now and then
I get a little bit lonely
and you're never coming around
Jacob: (Turnaround)
Bella: Every now and then
I get a little bit tired
of listening to the sound of my tears
Jacob: (Turnaround)

Edward: Every now and then
I get a little bit nervous
that the best of all the years have gone by

Jacob: (Turnaround)
Edward: Every now and then
I get a little bit terrified
and then I see the look in your eyes

Jacob: (Turnaround sparkle eyes)
Bella: Every now and then I fall apart
Jacob: (Turnaround sparkle eyes)
Edward: Every now and then I fall apart
Jacob: (Turnaround)
Bella: Every now and then I get a little
bit restless and i dream of something wild


Jacob: (Turnaround)
Edward: Every now and then I get a little bit
helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Jacob: (Turnaround)
Bella: Every now and then I get a little bit angry
and I know I have to get out and cry
Jacob: (Turnaround)
Edward: Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
but then I see the look in your eyes

Jacob: (Turn around sparkle eyes)
Bella: Every now and then I fall apart
Jacob: (Turn around sparkle eyes)
Edward: Every now and then I fall apart

All three:
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line

Jacob: Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
Edward: I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
Bella: We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

All three:
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Edward: Once upon a time I was falling in love
Bella: But now I'm only falling apart
Jacob: There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Edward: Once upon a time there was light in my life
Bella: But now there's only love in the dark
Jacob: Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Eward: Once upon a time I was falling in love
Bella: But now I'm only falling apart
Jacob: There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Birthday Sparkle

It's Birthday Time for Team Deer!

Put on your sparkle-tie!

Cedric: The Exhibition

Team Deer is planning a visit to Harry Potter: The Exhibition at Pacific Science Center this evening. I wonder if we'll get to see Cedric's wand?

Breaking Dawn Honeymoon

Movie Review: Little Asses

We hope you enjoy Team Deer's unique take on this RPatz film, Little Assets, er, Ashes.


Rob's Hair

Opening scene: Almost the first thing we see is his hair, but in the first shot it's actually a wig. His hand brushes it behind his ear. Soon after, a closeup of his eye (green, not golden) and eyebrow.

The girl in the movie (yes there is one. just one.) has the same hairdo.

In other news: very little chest hair. No weird left nipple. That must be something that happened to him later.

Rob's Quotes

Other characters' quotes:
"What does Frederico Lorca Garcia feel about all these bloody butterflies? What makes him angry? What turns him on?" Cut to a shot of RPatz, Salvador Dali. Duh.

When Salvador finally wears normal clothes and slicks back his hair:
Luis: "Incredible"
Frederico: "Sensational."
Luis: "The girls will go crazy."
Salvador (RPatz): "I expect so."

After taking a long, longing look at Salvador, Frederico prays: "Holy mother forgive me, I have sinned. I have had impure thoughts. Help me to resist temptation." Oh, Frederico. Join the club.

Why Rob Chose to Be in This Movie

Drinking. Smoking. General weirdness.

Twilight Crossover/Tie-In

Salvador creepily watches Frederico playing piano, like Edward watches Bella. Creepily watches him through the window. Creepily follows him down the street, trying to hide.

Salvador is a tease, just like Edward.

Frederico reading his poetry to Salvador on the rocks is very much akin to Twilight meadow scenes.

Overall Impressions

Salvador in jammies. Lots of Spanish men in shirtsleeves. Little RPatz almost makes an appearance, but it's awkward and not sexy.

However, Robert Pattison kissing anyone = hot.

Recommendation
A summary in Team Deer text messages:

J: Watching Little Asses again.
E: Eeep!
J: Worse than eeep. Also my phone wants me to type deer when i try to type eeep.
E: Is it really bad?
J: Duh.
E: Yeah. I guess I was there. I just prefer not to remember.