The Douche-off: Edward vs. Angel

Welcome back to the Douche-off Awards! As you may remember from many months ago, Book Edward is the current title holder -- will he lose his grasp on the D-Nozzle when pitted against Angel, douche-vamp of the 90's?

Suggested song for Douche-off: Queen -- Another One Bites the Dust

Wardrobe

Oh Angel. Angel, Angel, Angel. You attempt to harden your appearance like any century old, clueless vampire: silk shirts, velvet pants, wife beaters, leather jackets... with shoulder pads.

And then there is Edward. Khaki, white sleeveless shirts, knit sweaters...

really? is THAT how you decide to "blend in" with your peers? Funny, I don't remember any mention of mathletes or marching band.

In this case, we will have to stick with photographic facts. And the evidence suggests that -- much to our chagrin -- Edward can pull off pretty much any outfit. Angel wins the douche-pad... though research suggests he has enough padding.

Time spent in front of mirror

Angel can't see himself in the mirror, so by default, Edward wins. Maybe he uses the douche for his hair?... Did I go too far?

Hair -- flat top vs. bouffant.

The only real question is, how does Angel make his hair so douchey without a mirror?

Moves with the Ladies

Edward has some vestiges of romance. He takes Bella to an italian restaurant, and a meadow. Angel? He waits until after the apocalypse to even think about asking Buffy on a date. Way to be there for your beloved.

Using Your Words -- Edwords vs. Angelic Accents

To be honest, I am not entirely sure where Angel is supposed to hail from. Angelic flashbacks seem to span a plethora of accents, none of them done with conviction. But Edward. Well. I'm pretty sure he can employ any accent he wants. And while charming ladies with a practiced accent is a bit douchey, its even worse if you can't do it right. Angel, that douche bag is alllll yours.

Villainisms
If you think regular ol' Angel is a douche, how about Bad Angel? He can't even be a good villain! Spike says it best: "If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack." (Sidebar: a full sack of what? And whose sack is he playing with?) Another excellent Spikism: "Angel's as dull as a table lamp."

Good Edward, Good Angel -- both douchey. Bad Edward, on the other hand, is very good at bad. There is no other explanation for his ability to make ladies swoon despite his douchisms. Trust me, I've looked (for an explanation, that is...)

Tally ho

We could tally the score... but as one who has a soft spot for underdogs, I say we just give Angel a thumbs up (for being douchey) and give Edward a pat on the back for honorable mention.

Stay tuned for more exciting comparisons!