The Twelve Days of Edward

On the twelfth day of Twilight,
Edward gave to me
Twelve werewolves thrumming,
Eleven rounds of dazzle,
Ten bouts of chuckling,
Nine nights of peeping,
Eight pairs of khaki,
Seven chaste embraces,
Six Cullens hissing,
Five icy stares!
Four heart attacks,
Three dry humps,
Two papercuts,
And sparkles in a pear tree.

Merry Christmas from Team Deer. You're welcome.