Conversation Starters: Robert Pattinson

A fortnight ago, I was assigned with the task of coming up with opening lines for if I ever ran into any of the Twilight cast. I have categorized my conversation starters into 5 simple methods. Below are a few words I might use if I ever happened to catch Robert Pattinson... 

unawares... (of course I am starting with him, of course!)

Consider yourself warned.

Method 1: Common ground

Hey Robert... 

-I don't like to wash my hair either. See? (RP slooooowly backs away)

-I have an uncle named Robert! Wow! Lets talk about that. He's a ninja. So am I. Do you like ninjas? (RP disappears in a puff of smoke)

-I'm a musician too! You know, there's a great club in seattle called 16th Ave, Apt #4... I could totally get you a gig. 

Method 2: Feign Ignorance

Hey...

-Can I bum a smoke? Oh, don't I know you from somewhere? (RP sloooowly backs away)

-Do you know where a good Karaoke bar is? Wanna go? Oh, you're robert pattinson? wow! (RP warbles away)

Method 3: Flight of the Conchords, Mel Style

-Edwa- I mean Rob! Sorry!... Unless... do you like to be called Edward? (RP runs away)

-That's a really cool jacket, can I have it? Can I have your pants too? (RP disappears, leaving only a rumpled pile of clothing)

-Oh my god this is so weird that I ran into you right outside of your place where you live! Its just like the dream I had last night... (RP returns to his flat and locks several deadbolts)

-Me: Bite me

  RP: What?

  Me: What?... (RP  runs away)

Method 4: Lyrical Style (Clearly, RP would swoon if I sang anything to him)

-Franz Ferdinand --  With a laugh like that, and a look like that you make us all just go la la la la. 

-Two Gallants -- My lost cause for words walks away with my nerves

-Def Leppard -- All I've got is a photograph but its not enough

-FOTC -- If you want me to, I can hang 'round with you, if I only knew, that's what you're into

-Fugazi -- You should pay rent in my mind

-Debby Country -- Let's move our lips till we turn blue

Method 5: What would probably really happen

-eeeeeeehehehehehehe! (I run away)

-Robert pattinson! (I hyperventilate, then run away)

-Hey that's my t-shirt! (I run away)

- ... ... ... 

-Hey, could you answer some rhetorical questions for me? (questions drowned out by fits of giggles)

Hmm... Edward's what? No actually, I know very little about that.