One popped up on Myspace. Its an extened version of Edward showing off his bedroom to Bella. It's pretty awkward, but as a periodical insomniac, I appreciated the extra shout out to people who don't sleep. What what!
The other scenes can be viewed on Access Hollywood's site. For a quick snapshot of what's in store, view my previous TDH post. And don't forget to start a riot.
Flutterings and spasms aside, all these extra scenes got me thinking. What gratuitous inexplicable plot pointless scenes would I choose to write, if I so happened in to such a position?
Wait, wait. Jean already covered that one.
Yes, the beach is always a good place to start... but I digress!First off, call up Baz Luhrman. Why? Because in order to do a proper song and dance number, he's the one wit
h the skills. Yeah, I'm thinking Strictly Ballroom meets Moulin Rouge dream sequence. And if it's a dream, it won't seem so weird when Ewan McGregor shows up and starts singing back up. While you have Baz in the mix, might as well ask him to take a look at Book 4. A touch of satire might make demon baby hatching bearable (pregnancy pun ftw!)Speaking of demon babies, why not call up Chris Carter to create an X-files crossover. Not only are Mulder and Scully familiar with Demon Babies (Terms of Endearment) and Vampires (Bad Blood), and Werewolves (Shapes) they have made frequent visits to the Pacific Northwest due to its inherent creepiness. Mulder would make a great midwife, and Scully would finally enlighten us on the biological facts that
make vampire sperm possible... After an in depth study, of course...What?
Scully: Damn, I would make his babies too
Mulder: Damn, I would make his babies too
Mulder: Damn, I would make his babies too
And what if Edward needed a bit of help changing Bella into a vampire? What if he needed somebody... magical?
While I'm being gratuitous, why not invite Colin Firth on set? Give him some sideburns and pale
granite skin and a misplaced vendetta against Edward. Edward clears up the misunderstanding by communicating in Mr. Darcy's native accent.They hug it out.
In conclusion, Edward Cullen is reunited with his long lost twin brother, wolverine.
I hope all of these scenarios show up on the DVD.
ReplyDelete(Damn. I would make his babies too.)
ReplyDeleteCan Edward save Mr. Darcy from drowning in the lake? And then Jacob could say: "lake..pshaw-I saved Bella from the ocean." And then Mr. Darcy,Jacob, and Edward would have to hug it out. Oh! and could Mr. Bingley be a werewolf? And do some hot dancing with Ewan McGregor? just a thought...
ReplyDeleteWell, they will all be on set together, so I'm sure that scene will inevitably happen. :D
ReplyDeleteX files photo caption runners up:
ReplyDelete-Mulder and Scully check to see if Bella is fully dialated.
Mulder: "Is she fully dialated?"
Scully: "Nope, we're gonna have to perform an E-section"
Scully: -It sparkles!-
Mulder: -It's like that time in 3rd grade...-
-Mulder: -Great, now Scully will never sleep with me-
Scully: -This is better than Mulder's porn stash.-
I could keep going.
This Just in! Harry Potter Picture Caption:
ReplyDeleteHarry: Uh oh. Don't look now Hermoine. He's sparkling... again.
Ron: Ugh. How does he DO that?
Hermoine (indignantly): We learned that 3rd year Ron. -Glitteramous Totalus-
I wish I knew that spell.
ReplyDelete