TDH Emergency: 100 Monkeys Vie for your Affection!

So, apparently 100 Monkeys have decided to auction off their talents. They will come play in your city, but only if you love them enough to send them an email. So come on already!

You know you wanna see that face.

http://www.100monkeysmusic.com/uncategorized/100-city-tour-contest/

click on the link, follow the rules. Thank you and goodnight.

Epilogue: Take 100

Yeah. This time it's just gratuitous

I might have just sent 100 monkeys a fan email with a link to this song. maybe. perhaps.

Take 100

running for the border

searching for the ones with the white shirt and tie

weekend of disorder

bait peeled potassium, brings the fruit flies

strumming ukulele, streets are getting crazy,

junkies will pry

keep watch on our watches

as the minutes tick by

waiting in the stairwell

music belatedly reaches our ears

Thee band strums a farewell

and we're anticipating, drinking our beers

boys step out in guitars

sending all our heartbeats to the lost and found

saturated with stars

bats stay in the belfry safe and sound

and the band plaaaaaaaaaays

and the crowd swaaaaaaaaaaays

and the flashes make us blind

we lose our minds

and it won't be long

before that 100th monkey catches on

so sing along

as the band plaaaaaaaaaays

as the crowd swaaaaaaaaaaays

as the flashes make us blind

we lose our minds

Did Stephenie Meyer write an epilogue about Edward's penis?

Footnotes: A Magical Moment

I'm not just reposting this picture because it is awesome. I would like to draw your attention to the middle band member. After close scrutiny, I deduced that he was holding a tiny Magic 8 Ball in his hand.

Question: What was he asking it? Please respond with your guesses in the comments section

Just to get the ball rolling...

-Why do girls like Twilight?

-Is Jackson touching my leg?

Chapter Four: It's a sign!

Sunday Morning

10:00 am -- We decide to nonchalantly swing by (har har) the two o'clock 100 Monkey's autograph signing. I mean, we're in Vancouver, after all. It would be silly to not go, right? RIGHT?

11:30 -- We get distracted by cupcakes.

1:00 -- I decide I need to purchase my own ukulele so that I could have the 100 Monkeys sign it (up until this point I have been using a loaner)

1:25 -- We cross King Edward Ave

1:30 -- We arrive at music shop. Robert Pattinson's doppelganger sells me a ukulele (its a sign! Sorry no pictures)

1:35 -- We cross King Edward Ave

2:15 -- We arrive at the Monkeys' signing. I entertain the thought of playing a song for Jackson.

3:15 -- Bouncer recognizes me from the night before as "ukulele girl" and informs me that Jackson just so happens to have a ukulele with him. By now, I've lost track of signs. Sydney insists that I play the song

3:17 -- The Stairway. Omg omg. Will I do it?

3:20 -- Clearly, Jackson spots the ukulele

3:21 -- "I have a song for you"

Look at that smile!

The band politely listens. The girl in the blue plans to kick my ass in about 10 minutes

Jackson shows me his

...

...

...

Thanks to Sydney for great moral support and documentarian skillz, and to Jeremy for loaning me his ukulele to practice on.

Chapter Two: F**k You, I want a picture!

Remember that one time back in the days of '09 when we went to that show?

and drank some old timey beer?

Too excited to actually pay attention to the opening bands, Sydney and I planted ourselves in the stairwell a couple floors below the room where the bands were hiding out and took silly pictures.

We witnessed many terrible things in that stairway. A line of girls with special stamps on their hands were escorted to the top floor.

A 13 year old squealed with glee, her braces shining like glitter glue in the sunlight, as the bouncers let her group of friends up, despite a lack of special stamps...

But maybe it was all for the best. Besides, if Sydney and I had managed a chance meeting with 100 Monkeys that night, we might have never met this girl/accidentally took a picture of her

She had a penis tattoo on her back. She might not know her back tattoo looked like a penis, but it did.

It was about this time that we overheard some bouncer say "Get ready for the screams." So we left the stairway vigil and joined the crowd at the stage.

I thought maaybe it would be difficult to tell Jackson from his bandmates. Even if I didn't recognize him, the barrage of camera flashes made it pretty obvious when he took the stage. I seriously thought I was going to have a seizure. In a moment of sorrow, I thought "Poor Monkeys... poor Rob!" And then a girl shoved past, shouting to her friend, "Fu*k you, I want a picture!"

Indeed. Indeed.

Unfortunately, my camera sucks. See that green light? That is where all the vampires were hanging out... Esme, Rosalie, the new Victoria... oh yeah, and Stephenie Meyer.

What happens next? Was Jackson the star of stage and screen that we all hoped him to be? Did Stephenie Meyer fall down from her perch? Did someone steal Jackson's hat as bouncers escorted the band through the molestative crowds?

Oh, I think you know the answer.

Chapter One: Junkies? No no, I said 100 Monkeys!

This journey begins with a Honda Accord and ukulele, and ends with... a Honda Accord and ukulele!

And so begins the story of Jacksonstalk '09.

The problem with going to Vancouver is that, once you cross the border, everyone is suspect. Every person that passes could be...

a vampire.

But most of them aren't.

Most of them are junkies.

Just a fortnight ago, Sydney and I, on official blog business, headed into Canada to see the 100 Monkeys, and to revel being in the exact same city as some of our favorite vampires. It became clear after our first leisurely jaunt through Gastown that Robert Pattinson probably wasn't hiding under a giant wig, or buying a veggie dog at the hot dog stand (or working the hot dog stand), or riding a shopping cart. And the quiet, uninhabited bar that we stopped at before the show was apparently the wrong one, because Jackson Rathbone and bandmates were nowhere to be seen.

Enter Edward: The stalker's stalker

Edward was totally pissed that our stalkees would desert us like that! But he was considerate enough to join us for one...

...or two drinks.

Edward also offered some great advice (he could tell we were novices). Unfortunately we neither of us possessed the ability to pick up their scent or hear their voices from great distances. Instead, we took our liquid courage and powered through six blocks of zombies to find the line of addicts that we belonged to.

And we wait...

After.

More to come