It's Rhetorical: Foundation Garments

Do the Cullen ladies needs to wear bras?

Or is perkiness just another perk of being a vampire?

It's Rhetorical: Do Vampires Have Scent Glands?

Possibly.

But they evidently don't need them in order to mark their territory, before their territory goes off to play with her werewolf friend:

[Edward] smiled, and then a sly look came into his eye. He pulled me close, burying his face in my hair. I could feel his cool breath saturate the strands as he exhaled; it raised goose bumps on my neck. "I'll be right back," he said, and then he laughed aloud as if I'd just told a good joke.

"Mine! (chuckle chuckle)"

Oh Edward, you sneaky possessive-compulsive little thing! I mean really. Who is the dog and who is the vampire?

It's Rhetorical: Does it Sparkle in Moonlight Too?

Moonlight is technically reflected sunlight, but it isn't anywhere near as powerful as sunlight. How powerful does the light need to be before vampire skin sparkles are visible to the human eye? What else is visible to the human eye?

Edward uses Bella as a human shield.

Its rhetorical: Eyebrows

Guest Blog from Robert Pattinson! 

"I wonder if vampire eyebrows can grow back. Maybe for the tortured New Moon Bits?" 

It's Rhetorical: Artificial Lighting

Lowell asks: Do vampires glitter under the paparazzi's cruel flash? What if they get seasonal affective disorder, will they glitter in the full spectrum lighting? What about a black light? And does this make them the ideal ravers?

How does artificial lighting affect Edward's penis? We just don't know.

It's Rhetorical: Edward's Voice

What's hotter: Edward as-is, or Edward with a British accent?

Everything about me invites you in — my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!

And still we know practically nothing about Edward's penis.

Its Rhetorical: Spit...er... Venom Swapping?

WAIT!

What if Bella had  a cold sore? 

What if she had really chapped lips? 

Gingivitis? 

What if she ate a BLT and it scratched the roof of her mouth? 

...Even if he did change her by some accidental venomous exchange, we would STILL know very little about Edward's penis

It's Rhetorical

Unfortunately we know very little about Edward's penis. 

Its Rhetorical: Body Hair

If vampires have a head of hair, shouldn't they have all the other hair? For Example...

Does it all just... fall out?

Or does it depend on how they were before being turned? 

Does James have stubble because he lacked a razor for a few days before being bitten?

Is vampire hair tough, like superman's hair?

When they cut their hair, does it not grow back?

OR does it grow back to exactly how it used to be? 

Its Rhetorical: Speed

We all know that vampires play speedy baseball...

But do vampires like to do everything fast?

I hope Bella doesn't crave risotto. 

It's Rhetorical: Red Eye?

When Edward sucks the venom out of Bella's arm, do his eyes turn red? Or do they just turn orange, because he only had a sip of her blood? How much blood does it take?

Think Twice - Drink Responsibly

What Ifs

What if fate was less convenient? What if Edward's attraction to Bella was...inexplicable? What if she wasn't so pretty or good-hearted? Would Edward still come to love her?

What if she was a jerk, or really average, kind of like Jessica Stanley? Would he have simply given in to his instincts and put Bella out of his misery? Yes yes, he doesn't want to be a monster. But what if he could hear Bella's thoughts and they were super annoying?

Or what if the timing was bad? If he'd met her when she was an old woman and they had no time left, would Edward still have married her? Would he still have allowed her to be changed? Would he still insist that he had always found her to be dazzling? Seems a little awkward.

What if he had met her when she was a baby, instead of 17 like him? Would he have patiently waited out her childhood, like a werewolf who has imprinted on an inappropriately young person? Or would he have had a little snack, not realizing that baby Bella would grow up into the person he loves?

OR!

What if it wasn't Bella for Edward at all? What if Bella was the werewolf--Edward's sworn enemy and not at all delicious to him? What if Jacob was the ordinary teenager whose blood made Edward freak out, and whose thoughts were a mystery? What if Jacob was the danger-magnet Edward couldn't ignore? Who would Edward watch sleeping then, hmm?

Can Edward Hear Her Stomach Growling?

Is Bella really a teenager? She's never hungry! Edward has to practically force her to eat her mushroom raviolis on their first date, and she generally isn't hungry at lunchtime in the school cafeteria.

Although, she usually shovels her food, so maybe she is hungry. Maybe she's just distracted by Edward and eating is just one more thing she has to do that does not involve him.

But maybe her disinterest in food is actually a gift, and one more reason why, when she is a newborn vampire she is able to resist/control her feeding instincts.

Question

Do Vampires get Belly button lint?

A filler post, for Jean

I promised Jean I would post something every day, and I missed yesterday. Oops!

Shouldn't that bottle be full of blood?