West Coast Story: The Vamps VS The Weres Part 1

For those of you who have never seen West Side Story: you are very, very lucky. But as one who sat through it many a time as a child, I couldn't help but notice the similarities. Two warring gangs, a forbidden love, catchy tunes... its all there! So, get your fingers snapping and sing along, vamps!

When You're A Vamp

Words Blatantly Stolen and Rearranged from West Side Story's "When you're a Jet"

When you're a vamp you're a vamp all the way

from your first taste of blood to you're last violent fray

When your a vamp if venom hits the fan

You've got Cullens around

You're a family man

You're never alone

You're never disconnected

You're home with your own

When company's expected

You're well protected

Then you are set with a capital C

Which you'll never forget

When you're a Vamp you stay a vamp!

They are snapping their fingers in time... .you just cant see it because they are so FAST!

(speaking)
Now I know Jasper like I know me,
And I gaurantee you can count him in.

Emmett:
In, out, let's get crackin'!
Where you gonna find The Werewolves?

Edward:
At the dance tonight at the gym

Alice:
But the gym's neutral territory

Edward:
I'm gonna make nice with him, I'm only gonna challenge him

Alice:
Great, Daddy-O

Emmett
So everybody dress up sweet and sharp and
meet Edward and me at ten.
And walk tall!

Rosalie:
We always walk tall!

Alice:
We're Vamps!

Carlisle:
The greatest!

Jasper:
When you're a Vamp you're the top cat in town

Emmett:
You're the Gold medal kid with the heavyweight crown

Carlisle:
When you're a Vamp you're the swingin-est thing
Little boy, you're a Vamp, Little Vamp you're a king!

ALL:
The vamps are in gear
Our teeth are clickin'
The weres'll steer clear
'Cause every canine is
A lousy chicken!
Here come the Vamps like a bat outta hell
Someone gets in our way, someone don't live to tell!
Here come the Vamps!
Little world, step aside!
Better go underground!
Better run, Better hide!
We're drawing the line,
So keep your necks a hidden
We're hangin' a sign
Says visitors forbidden
And we ain't kiddin'
Here come the Vamps!
Yeah!
And we're gonna beat every last buggin' gang on the
whole buggin' street.
on the whole ever mother lovin' street!
Yeah!

Stay Tuned for the Werewolve's howling rebuttal.

Still not Jammies

So not jammies.

Reconciliation

Okay Jean. You win.

Really! I'm 100% okay with Robert Pattinson putting a belt around his jammies and calling it an outfit

Deer Emilie,

These are pajamas.

We're In A Fight: Not Jammies

We at TDH are smack dab in the middle of our very first fight. Emilie's outrageous claims have created a rift in our relationship that may be irrepairable. Knowing what I now know about Emilie's refusal to use common sense and reason, I am amazed that we have managed to go this long without some sort of conflict.

What, you ask, did she do that is so reprehensible?

Exhibit A: Hot magazine photo.

"These are not my jammies."

This picture clearly shows some sort of preppy pant/shirt combo. While it's undeniably douchey (sidebar: don't you love how Rob makes even douchey outfits look hot?) it is clearly day wear and not loungewear. Look closely (I know you already have anyway) and you will note that Rob is wearing a belt. Pajamas aren't worn with belts! As if he would need a belt! Pajamas don't even have belt loops. And those aren't slippers, they are wing tips. Who would wear pajamas with wing tips? (Omg that's so hot. I mean, it's not pajamas!) Indeed, even the button down top that appears on first glance to exactly match the pants is actually being worn layered over some sort of patterned shirt. Who layers pajamas? Not even Robert Pattinson can be accused of this.

Emilie refuses to believe the undeniable evidence in front of her and insists that this getup is pajamas. I, on the other hand, acknowledge the truth.

I only hope that we are able to find a way to continue our TDH partnership in the face of this fundamental disagreement. I would ask our TDH readers to weigh in on this issue, but I don't wish to implicate you in this unfortunate turn of events.