Showing posts with label stalking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stalking. Show all posts

Monday, September 21, 2009

Chapter One: Junkies? No no, I said 100 Monkeys!

This journey begins with a Honda Accord and ukulele, and ends with... a Honda Accord and ukulele!

And so begins the story of Jacksonstalk '09.

The problem with going to Vancouver is that, once you cross the border, everyone is suspect. Every person that passes could be...
a vampire.

But most of them aren't.

Most of them are junkies.

Just a fortnight ago, Sydney and I, on official blog business, headed into Canada to see the 100 Monkeys, and to revel being in the exact same city as some of our favorite vampires. It became clear after our first leisurely jaunt through Gastown that Robert Pattinson probably wasn't hiding under a giant wig, or buying a veggie dog at the hot dog stand (or working the hot dog stand), or riding a shopping cart. And the quiet, uninhabited bar that we stopped at before the show was apparently the wrong one, because Jackson Rathbone and bandmates were nowhere to be seen.

Enter Edward: The stalker's stalker
Edward was totally pissed that our stalkees would desert us like that! But he was considerate enough to join us for one...
...or two drinks.

Edward also offered some great advice (he could tell we were novices). Unfortunately we neither of us possessed the ability to pick up their scent or hear their voices from great distances. Instead, we took our liquid courage and powered through six blocks of zombies to find the line of addicts that we belonged to.
And we wait...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Twilight Solo: Edward

In honor of TDH's resident stalkers, here is a great song that could easily be sung by everyone's favorite stalker, Edward Cullen:

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
Ill be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
Ill be watching you

Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
Ill be watching you























Since youve gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but its you I cant replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby, please...

Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every breath you take

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
Ill be watching you

Every move you make
Every step you take
Ill be watching you

Ill be watching you
Ill be watching you
Ill be watching you
Ill be watching you...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Jokes From Wall Street

Q: Where does Edward invest all his money?
A: The stalk market!
A shocked Edward watches as his investment plummets into murky waters



Despite all of our investments, we still don't know quite enough about Edward's Penis