Eclipse Soundtrack: Muse

Having already hyped our beloved Muse and their place on the third of three Twilight soundtracks (here and here), we won't go into more details except to further confirm that they are awesome.

But what follows is a series of Team Deer's thoughts on the other Twi-songs on the new soundtrack. Oh yes! Prepare yourself for themes of eternal love, eternal life, making a choice, leaving something behind, and beginnings/endings.

Oh!

And making out.

Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever) (In a Tent)

Since the new Muse song is clearly about Bella and Edward, it's no fun to dissect. Therefore, let's pretend it's more complicated!

Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever) (In a Tent)

Edward: I was searching
Jacob: you were on a mission
Both: Then our hearts combined like a neutron star collision
Jacob: I have nothing left to lose
Edward: You took your time to choose
Both: Then we told each other with no trace of fear that

Bella: Our love would be forever
Jacob: And if we die, we die together
Edward: But lie I said never [Edward chuckles]
All: Cause our love would be forever


Bella: The world is broken, halos fail to glisten [Like Edward's skin]
We try to make a difference but no one wants to listen
Hail the preachers, fake and proud
Their doctrines will be cloud
Then they'll dissipate like snowflakes in an ocean [Edward and Jacob look confused. What's Bella going on about now, gosh?]

All: Love is forever and we’ll die
We’ll die together
Edward: Lie, I said never
Jacob: Cause our love, could be forever

Muse-o-gasm!

Muse announced today that they will release a brand new song that was written and recorded by the band earlier this year and has been chosen as the lead single to be released from the soundtrack of 'Eclipse.'

The song name is...wait for it, wait for it...

Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever)

Of course that's the name of the song!

It's fabulous, and it goes well with lasers, not unlike Edward. Furthermore, Neutron Star Collision is clearly a euphemism for making out with Edward.

The Virgin Edward

What's the real reason Edward is so reluctant to seal the deal with Bella? And I'm not talking about making her into a vampire. I'm talking about the other deal that needs sealing.

Why won't he just get it over with? Why does it take the better part of 4 books? Saga indeed! It's quite perplexing.

Maybe he likes boys? Probably not likely, since he eventually does let Bella into his legally-married pants.

Maybe he can only do it in Portuguese? Possibly.

Maybe he is a never-nude? He might be. And that might inhibit certain things, especially if Bella is turned off by cutoff jeans.

Sidebar: Supposedly Edward was a virgin when he met Bella. And while a vampire is first and foremost interested in quenching his literal thirst, we are told that vampires also do have human instincts and urges buried down deep inside. In the book it is explained that for Edward it was Bella who made him feel human (i.e. icy and bothered) and so it naturally follows that this is the first time as a vampire he has been interested in participating in human...activities.

So the real question is, why then was Edward a virgin as a 17-year-old human?


Was Carlisle the first person to see Edward and think "I'd tap that"? Really?

Was human Edward not hot? Not likely! Take away the speed, take away the strength, take away the sparkle (DO NOT TAKE AWAY THE SPARKLE) and Edward is still one fine-looking and imminently beddable bloke. (Yes, I said beddable. Which, not coincidentally, spellcheck wants me to change to bedazzle.)


Was he impotent as a human? Maybe t'was Bella who put the bite in his bat if you know what I'm saying (you always know what I'm saying). Hmm. Not likely, for a healthy 17-year-old-boy. Well, healthy until the Spanish influenza hit.

Maybe he liked boys? Perhaps!

Maybe he lived in a non-existent Stephenie Meyerville where no one has premarital sex or drinks alcohol because they are "moral"? Likely.

Or, mayhaps he is a liar? Proven!

Oh, Edward.

What do you think made Edward keep the vampire in the coffin, so to speak?

Why Muse is the Official Band of Twilight

Stephenie Meyer has done exactly two brilliant things in her life:

1) Dream up Edward Cullen!
2) Have a giant boner for the band Muse.

It is also worth noting that December 15 marks exactly two brilliant occasions:

1) TDH celebrates its one year anniversary as everyone's favorite irreverent Twilight blog (your source for ongoing sparkle penis analysis and general Edward-related hilarity).
2) TDH sees Muse live for the first time, here in our very own Seattle, Washington!

In honor of the double double brilliancy, here's a look at Muse's newest album and how it's all about Edward's penis:

Exhibit A: Uprising

The whole "revolution" thing could be about the Cullens, with their alternative lifestyles, rising up against the Volturri. Or it could be literally something...rising...up.

Exhibit B: Resistance

This song is about the whole "forbidden" aspect of vampire/human love. Awwwww. How sweet. It could be wrong, could be wrong, but it should've been right. And it's about how they have to keep it secret and keep it safe.

Exhibit C: I Belong To You

Duh, it's on the New Moon Soundtrack, clearly it's an ode to Edward. However, you wouldn't notice it in the movie unless you were looking for it (twss). It plays in a random scene where Bella drives off to school in her truck.

The opening line is:

When these pillars get pulled down

Pillar, huh? Someone knows something about something! Moving on...as everyone knows, Bella was in so much pain in New Moon that she felt like she had a hole in her chest, because of Edward who is sparkley and powerful and fast, like lightning:

How much pain has quaked your soul?
How much love could make you whole?
You're my guiding lightning strike.

And then there's the obvious -- Bella dashes off to Italy to save Edward from his misguided suicide attempt:

I've traveled half the world to say, I belong to you

EXHIBIT D: Unnatural Selection

One word: Renesmee.

EXHIBIT E: MK Ultra

No, this song is not about a light beer. It's about the biggest lie ever told, by one Edward Cullen, upon breaking up with Bella, and about Bella hallucinating the Ghost of Edward as a result.

How much deception can you take?
How many lies will you create?
How much longer until you break?
Your mind's about to fall.

Exhibit F: Guiding Light

More New Moon pain. This time it's Edward's pain, after he leaves Bella for her own good:

And fragile and stripped to the core
I can't hurt you anymore

A reference to sparkle:

And sunshine, trapped in our hearts

And then this:

It could rise again, but I'm lost
And crushed I'm cold and confused
with no guiding light left inside
You were guiding, light

Hmmm. Sounds like Edward is having a very specific problem, now that he ran away from Bella. That'll teach him.

Exhibit H: Undisclosed Desires

If they were smart, Muse would have had black and white video footage of Bella and Edward (or just Edward) rolling around on a sandy beach, a la Chris Issak/Wicked Game. Instead, they opted for the band performing in a studio with some lady dancing around in an outfit made out of what is either guitar cables or those automated car wash scrubbers. Neither is sexy. And yet this song is oozing with sexy!

You may be a sinner
But your innocence is mine
Please me,
Show me how it's done,
Tease me,
You are the one

Not only is that hot, it's clearly about Edward (who thinks he's souless, and is still a virgin anyway) and Bella (who's trying to get under his teeth and into his pants, but not trying hard enough if you know what I'm sayin').

The chorus is all about the whole "Edward is a contradiction" thing with the beauty and the danger and the demons and the sex:

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

All that Twilight sexual tension (read: Edward without a shirt on, looking pained) would have a made a great video for this song. The key-tar and the flailing dancer tangled in cables? Not so much.

In review:

Not Sexy

Sexy

Hey wait a minute. Is this a double mic, or is it someone's sparkely...nevermind.




EXHIBIT: The Rest
Then there are some symphonic pieces that I haven't paid much attention to, but I'm sure they're just fantastic and evocative of everyone's favorite sparkley bits.

NMS: I Belong to You

Indeed.

Vampires in our midst

These people have to be vampires. There is no other explanation. 

I Declare this an Emergency -- Musings

Its a conspiracy. Muse and Stephenie Meyer have some sort of twisted pact, working together to gain followers and be the demise of western civilization. I am sure of it!

Take a Bow -- Clearly about Volturi

Time is Running Out -- Clearly about mortality

Stockholm Syndrome -- New Moon

Invincible -- Breaking Dawn

Yes, yes this IS an emergency. Because I read twilight and I want to listen to Muse. I listen to Muse, and all I think is vampires. Oh well, I guess there are some things I will just have to learn to live with... 

Muse, Paraphrased

I want it now

Give me your heart and your soul

This is the last time I will abandon you

This is the last time I will forget you

I wish I could cast a spell on the country you run, and you will think I'm drowning I wanna break this spell and risk all their lives and their souls and corrupt all that you touch will be the death of me lips are turning blue I only dream of you if you promise not to fade away give me your last chance to lose control how long before you let me go? ooooooooooh come on and spread a sense of urgency, I declare this an emergency!

What is your favorite vampire-ish Musing?