Blood Pun

A human walks up to a vampire.
Human: I'm having a bad day. Got any advice?
Vampire: Hey! Be Positive!

Get it? eh? EH?

Pop Revelations Part X: Now That's a Sweater...

If you want to destroy my sweater
(pause for fainting, dramatic effect)
...
...

Just pull this thread as I walk away
watch me unravel
I'll soon be naked
lying on the floor
I come undone

I bet you didn't see that one coming (twhs).

What do we know about the Volturi? Well, we know even less about them than we do about something else that we know 10 things about (not to be confused with 10 things I hate about you.) They hail, stylistically, from classic bloodsucking fiends; Dark, powerful, eeeeevil. Oh yeah, and European.

We also know, through various revelations, that the Volturi often step in to make sure the secrets of their world go undiscovered. What is stopping them from also using pop culture to relay messages to their vampire friends? And how do you think these dark, classy vampires felt when they discovered that Edward, son of their good friend Carlisle, marred the good name vampire by covering it up in a beige knit pullover sweater? Exactly.

Pop Revelations. We've got ten of them.

What We Do Know, Part X

"I certainly never thought to see Carlisle bested for self-control of all things, but you put him to shame." -Aro

Apparently we know a little something about Carlisle's penis too.

Thats What He[hehe] Said

"Its cold and hard... and it casts rainbows in the sunlight"

What We do know Part IX

"It's kind of giving me whiplash"

That's what HE said (TWHS)

Yes, you've all heard of That's what she said. But as Jean so kindly pointed out, sometimes, "That's what he said" is a more appropriate response. Did we just blow your mind? Good. Now, lets try this out. 

Ready? 

OK... GO!

"I've given some to Alice and Esme both, so clearly this is not a big deal"

...

Yeah, that is what he said.

That's What She Said (TWSS)

The logic behind this series is simple. We at TDH, dedicated to your constant amusement, will scour the Twilight Saga for potentially inappropriate sentences and phrases, and post them. Your job is to say (hopefully out loud, in a crowded office) That's What She Said (TWSS)! 

Ready?

Ok... GO!

"He must have been eager... because human velocity was not fast enough for him"

That's What She Said!

Good Job.