"Edward's look wasn't something that could be achieved through imitation."
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
What We Do Know: Part 42
"I had a feeling Edward wasn’t the kind of person anyone got used to."
You never get used to it?
Indeed.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
A Battle of Wits
With the approach of a new year, I have decided that it is time to wrap up a few things here at TDH. Do not fret! We will continue with the jokes and the revelations (even if I am off - grid more than I would like to be). However, there is one thread that I believe should be put to rest.
Mayhaps you recall the Twifight?
Jean, I would like to challenge you to a battle of wits.
It's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of woman who would mistake pajamas for an outfit?
Now, a clever woman would know the difference between pajamas and suits. She would know that only a great fool would be confused. I'm not a great fool, so clearly Rob is wearing pajamas. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I clearly must assume that Rob is not wearing pajamas!.
Have I made my decision? Not remotely. Because Rob comes from England, as everyone knows. And England is entirely peopled with the anti-fashioned. And the British are used to having people mistake their outerwear for pajamas, which explains the belt. So I can clearly not call these linens bedclothes!
Truly, a dizzying intellect. But wait till I get going! Where was I? Ah yes, England...
You must have suspected I would have known Rob's origin, so I can clearly call these duds pajamas!
Rob, going to bed, in a dinner jacket.
You'd like to think that I'm stalling, wouldn't you?
You have evaded my previous arguments which means you're exceptionally strong of mind. So, you could have pretended they were not pajamas and trusted your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the "indie outfit" argument. But, you've also bested my witty comments which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that Rob is weird so you would have put the pajama thesis as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose this for myself.
You think I'm trying to trick you, but I'm not! You've given everything away! I know what Rob is wearing! I will make my choice! and I choose!...
What is that over there!
What was that? Was I supposed to say something else? Hmmm... But the choice does not matter. Clearly I fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a French. Ever."
Mayhaps you recall the Twifight?
Jean, I would like to challenge you to a battle of wits.
It's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of woman who would mistake pajamas for an outfit?
Now, a clever woman would know the difference between pajamas and suits. She would know that only a great fool would be confused. I'm not a great fool, so clearly Rob is wearing pajamas. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I clearly must assume that Rob is not wearing pajamas!.
Have I made my decision? Not remotely. Because Rob comes from England, as everyone knows. And England is entirely peopled with the anti-fashioned. And the British are used to having people mistake their outerwear for pajamas, which explains the belt. So I can clearly not call these linens bedclothes!
Truly, a dizzying intellect. But wait till I get going! Where was I? Ah yes, England...
You must have suspected I would have known Rob's origin, so I can clearly call these duds pajamas!
Rob, going to bed, in a dinner jacket.
You'd like to think that I'm stalling, wouldn't you?
You have evaded my previous arguments which means you're exceptionally strong of mind. So, you could have pretended they were not pajamas and trusted your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the "indie outfit" argument. But, you've also bested my witty comments which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that Rob is weird so you would have put the pajama thesis as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose this for myself.
You think I'm trying to trick you, but I'm not! You've given everything away! I know what Rob is wearing! I will make my choice! and I choose!...
What is that over there!
What was that? Was I supposed to say something else? Hmmm... But the choice does not matter. Clearly I fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a French. Ever."
Sunday, December 27, 2009
It's Rhetorical: Does it Sparkle in Moonlight Too?
Moonlight is technically reflected sunlight, but it isn't anywhere near as powerful as sunlight. How powerful does the light need to be before vampire skin sparkles are visible to the human eye? What else is visible to the human eye?
Edward uses Bella as a human shield.
Edward uses Bella as a human shield. Thursday, December 24, 2009
The Twelve Days of Edward
On the twelfth day of Twilight,
Edward gave to me
Twelve werewolves thrumming,
Eleven rounds of dazzle,
Ten bouts of chuckling,
Nine nights of peeping,
Eight pairs of khaki,
Seven chaste embraces,
Six Cullens hissing,
Five icy stares!
Four heart attacks,
Three dry humps,
Two papercuts,
And sparkles in a pear tree.
Edward gave to me
Twelve werewolves thrumming,
Eleven rounds of dazzle,
Ten bouts of chuckling,
Nine nights of peeping,
Eight pairs of khaki,
Seven chaste embraces,
Six Cullens hissing,
Five icy stares!
Four heart attacks,
Three dry humps,
Two papercuts,
And sparkles in a pear tree.
Merry Christmas from Team Deer. You're welcome.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
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